This blog has been created to share my experiences in life, along with submissions from those who have been through life changing challenges and events. For those who don't know me well, I've been told to have the "perfect life". I've founded a PR firm, travel often, have worked as a promo girl for some of the top companies in the world, and often have a new romance of the week. I love to laugh, maybe even bit too much, but It hasn't seemed to hurt anyone.
Looking past my "perfect life", is a 23 year old girl who once struggled to stay positive after a health scare and a diagnosis "run-around". After exhaustion to keep up with medical costs, lacking the comfort having my family around, and managing my physical and mental health through it all, I have DECIDED to live the happiest life that I'm capable of.
An uncountable number of people, have been hurt by multiracial stereotypes, family issues, friendships, the deterioration of their health, and the occasional confusion of what they "want to do" with their life. Despite any circumstance, I wouldn't change one thing about my life. I've realized that you don't know how strong you are until you have to be. The more you accept "what is" the more time you have to spend on things you have control over. I once heard that the best way to passed something is through it, and it seems to be true.
Over the last few months I've realized how positivity can allow you to do anything you can dream. Things may not happen when you want them to, but all you need to do is put a little trust in things happening when they're meant to... Whatever the case may be, or whatever your "baggage" may be if it's weighing you down "leave your shit behind"! The more you give away, the more room you make to fill your life with things that are truly amazing. <3
I'm looking forward to your submissions, recommendations, or questions. Thanks for reading & I hope you take something with you from the blog!
My Story
I had been waiting 365 days for that time of year to begin again. If you grew up in New Jersey, NYC or Miami, you may know the "Christmas" of house music is The Winter Music Conference. After the extra efforts of low-carb, sugar free everything, and countless hours of cardio, my stomach decided to pick just that time to have a "bloat" attack. A bloat attack also accompanied with sever back pain.. maybe I was just stressed from work?
After all the pool parties, cocktails, and sleepless nights, I had a problem worse than a hangover. Returning home with intensified pain, I went for blood work and "everything was great". When I couldn't stand in line long enough to buy a stamp at the post office I knew everything wasn't so great. I couldn't even walk. My doctor and Gyno seemed clueless so I went to the ER.
Diagnosis: Kidney Stones
....or so they thought, and so I thought. 2 months and 100 gallons of water later, I'm still in pain. My legs began feeling like they had weights in them, i had the back of a 90 year old and my stomach still seemed as if I was pregnant. I set up an appointment for surgical removal of the stones. The second cat scan showed a misdiagnosis. The "kidney stones", were actually calcium deposits, not harmful in any way. I stood their devastated. I was back to square one and no one seemed to know how to help me.
While living on my own I felt a little overwhelmed. Where do you start? At 22, or even 30, we all know that when you're sick all you want is your mother. Not only was I pissed off about my health, I later recieved a 6,000 hospital bill for "maxing out" my out-patient coverage. I was furious. I went back to the gyno and demanded every test they had. The doctor had treated me as if I was a hypochondriac until the results came back.
Diagnosis: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
The blood test showed a hormone imbalance and the ultrasound confirmed the disorder. I found it odd that they didn't test my hormones the first time. Two months prior, if the women hadn't rushed me as her last ultrasound, she could've mentioned that I had an enlarged ovary and thousands of tiny cysts. I was actually relieved. 5% of women have it, so I wasn't alone. My doctor handed me some birth control to regulate my hormones and reduce the number of cysts.
Another day at college and another day with pain. I was convinced that something was overlooked. Getting up from my desk, it felt like someone was stabbing me. It took my nearly 30 minutes to make it back to the car. I sat there and cried in frustration. The pain was so bad I remember wanting to go to sleep and never wake up. All I could think was "why is this happening to me?" I demanded surgery and was scheduled for a laparoscopy the next week. I had hope that if my doctor got an inside look at what was going on, she'd realize I wasn't being a drama queen.
Diagnosis: Endometriosis
I woke up from surgery and the first thing she said was "I've never seen anyone with PCOS and Endometriosis together. I'm very polite, but if I ever got close to slapping someone across the face, it would've had to be then. I was confused from anesthesia so she must of been lucky. What is it? The cells from your uterus lining spread to other areas of the body, causing trapped blood, internal scar tissue and adhesions. During the surgery she performed ablation, where she removed the adhesions from the internal surface of my abdominal cavity. Post-surgery and a month of blood later, the endometriosis continued to spread.
Despite the pain, knowing what was wrong was comparable to the feeling of winning the lottery. I had high hopes. I altered my diet, stocked up on supplements, took my birth control, and continued exercise. Some days were better than others, but I was back to the positive spirit, which I had lost prior to laparoscopy.
When I went from a size zero to a size three in a week, I knew the sugar-free jello wasn't packing on pounds..or was it? After drinking a sample-sized cup of juice, I felt like I was intoxicated. The same question returned.."What the Hell is going on"? Back to the doctors, this time an Endocrinologist.
Diagnosis: Insulin Resistance/ Pre-diabetes
It's influenced by PCOS. Another thing the Gyno had never mentioned. So what's is it? When you're body doesn't produce insulin properly, your cell receptors don't respond and don't convert food into glucose for energy. Once again, I changed my diet. I was prescribed another pill, Metformin. Over the period of a month it still got worse. My intestines starting swelling from one taste of both artificial and real sugar. One bite of an apple made me feel as if someone was using my organs as a stress ball. Unless I ate only meat and vegetables, the pressure intensified. 1000 calories per day, with those 8 pounds holding on, I learned to deal with food discipline and accepted the few extra pounds. Although I'm still slim, as a previous national fitness competitor, I can say that weight-loss with this issue is nearly impossible.
Two week after the last diagnosis, my right knee started to ache. I had thought I pulled something at the gym, until my left knee starting bothering me too. Waking up the middle of the night from chronic knee pain isn't something I would've thought to experience at 23. My guess? Arthritis. Also linked to PCOS, and another thing my doctor never mentioned. I started acupuncture for my back, stomach, pelvis and knees and it had seemed to decrease my knee pain by half.
My Life Now (2012)
A year and a half after my last surgery, I had a second laparoscopy done. I developed food intolerances (to artificial additives and fructose), pain with sex, standing, and an obstruction in my intestines. Unfortunately, There is so cure for Endometriosis, but I finally found a fantastic surgeon. I no longer have pain after eating, sex, or any difficult standing for a long period of time. My knee pain is entirely gone, which was ended up being caused my nerve compression. I FEEL ABSOLUTELY BLESSED TO HAVE MY LIFE BACK. Between a high dose progesterone pill and the procedure I'm able to do everything that I used to, and my life is actually better than it once was. I moved to New Jersey after staying here for the surgery, and have started a new life. With a new job, an amazing guy, family/friends nearby and more patience, the pain nearly paid off.
I once thought that the "best years of my life" were ruined by Endometriosis and I'm determined to help other girls receive an early diagnosis. There is not only a need for awareness among those at risk, but more education among doctors. The average diagnosis is 8 years, which makes it one of the most overlooked diseases. Once diagnosed it as just as hard to find proper care in management for women with severe cases. There is no reason that women should live a poor quality of life because of a disease that CAN be helped (without Lupron injections). Positivity can improve any situation although the real solution is in making proper resources available to those diagnosed.
Lights Will Guide You Home
-Coldplay
